


After Much Consideration

by orphan_account



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: AND GOOD OLD SELF DOUBT, Egg Casserole, F/M, Language, and sad, because boy I love me some sad, discussions about children, discussions about getting older, discussions about marriage, oh my goodness this was so fun, this was so fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 15:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11603799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Do you often think about that?”“…More often than I use to.”“…Do you think you’d, um, you’d want to?”“Want to what?”“Be a parent.”Ben jolted, spilling his drink down his leg and across the carpet. Coughing between nervous giggles, he stood and moved to the kitchen to get a tea towel as he said, “Well, I mean-I-What about you? Do you ever think about it?”“More often than I use to.”





	After Much Consideration

**Author's Note:**

> !! THIS WAS SO FUN
> 
> Part of an art trade between myself and the lovely ANostalgicPlaceForMe. You can see their half here ( https://anostalgicplaceforme.tumblr.com/post/163315521193/my-part-in-a-trade-with-rabbit-kinder-for-some ) And you gotta look, you gotta, because it's beautiful, and Nostalgic is beautiful, and this is good- this is good art right here. Do it. Go look. 
> 
> I had... SO many people Beta this. I very much wanted it to be good. AS SUCH, a round of applause should be given to these people for saving my sorry ass from making a dang fool of myself (not that they can prevent it forever, but they did this once, and I am grateful <3) 
> 
> Lanturnforest  
> Crispcomet  
> Vizivoir  
> Burrase-and-ross  
> and  
> Desk-Of-Employee432
> 
> (Also, Employee and I had been talking about fan children, hence where the names Odette and Benny come from, because oh my god, sometimes you want a cup of sweet tea and sometimes you want a cup of straight sugar and boy we ate the straight sugar on that one.)
> 
> (Also, Comet made a great tracklist for Ben being CU and how that affects his/their relationship towards Edith and it's so good? I listened to this while editing and it's so good? Go listen. ( https://8tracks.com/crispcomet/the-sun-is-shining-but-you-are-not-smiling ))
> 
> Cheers!

       The flesh of his legs seemed to cook against the plastic interior as he sat waiting for the light to change, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He couldn’t imagine how Edith must feel with the backs of her knees directly against the seat but then, as he looked over, she seemed to have worked out a way to keep them from even touching.

       “The air conditioner should kick on in a minute.”

       He knew she was aware of that, but still. She nodded without a word, breathing deeply as she plucked at her dress where it stuck to her chest with sweat. He loosened his tie as he looked forward, letting go of the brake pedal as the cars in front of them made it through the lightning quick traffic change.

       “Did the delivery come on time today, by the way?”

       “Ah,” Edith adjusted the vents in the dashboard, “No. They were later than usual, actually, but he brought help at least.”

       “What do you mean he ‘brought help’?”

       “Some kid. Couldn’t have been older than 20. I’ve never seen him before. Would you mind if I turned on the radio?”

       “Edith, for the last time, you don’t have to ask me, and why all the sudden are they sending two people per shipment?”

       “Just wanted to check,” the gentle smile she set his way, eyes watching through their lashes, made him loosen his tie a bit more as once again he coasted forward while she continued, “But no, I have no idea. He had a uniform, but no name tag. Might be a new guy.”

       “Was he any good?”

       “Honestly? No.”

       Ben sighed as he held his hand to the blower vent, relishing the first tendrils of cool air that pushed through, “I’ll call Harvey again tomorrow. Which way did you want to go home?”

       “I’d appreciate that, and whatever way you think will be shortest.”

       “Jeeze, if I’m that insufferable you could have just said something.”

      His face broke into a grin when Edith smacked his arm.

       “You’re insufferable. There you go, now take me home.”

       “Yes ma’am.”

       “Good boy,” he could hear the smirk in her voice even if he couldn’t see it while she bent down to fiddle with the radio, “How’d your whole thing go, by the way?”

       “Hm?”

       Ben turned to face Edith as she sighed, gesturing , “That whole thing, with um- with the Kilpatrick boy. That disciplinary hearing. ”

       He rolled his eyes with a chuckle, “How do you think it went?”

       “Oh no.”

       “Oh yes.”

       “You’re kidding me,” she leaned forward, stretching her shoulders as they finally made it through the green light and turned down a side road, “Don’t tell me they didn’t show up again.”

       “Didn’t even return my calls.”

       “That’s the third time.”

       “Yup,” he popped the ‘p’ as he shifted gear, teeth grit in a smile.

       “How is he going to make it through 4th grade if he keeps getting suspended?”

       “No idea. Not my problem. Well, I mean- it is, but- ”

       “I get what you mean, Benny.”

       He sighed as the car rounded the bend in the road, the river rushing past their left as he asked, “Is your heron there?”

       “I don’t see him, but he’s usually farther up.”

       “Right, right.”

       “Ben?”

       “Yeah?”

       “…You’re upset about something.”

       “I’m driving.”

       “You don’t sit like that when you’re just driving.”

       “How do I sit then?”

       “Like you’re not on a seat of pins.”

       “There’s an image.”

       She huffed, shutting off the radio.

       “Hey now, just because you don’t like Tom Jones-”

       “Ben.”

       He took a deep breath, “What.”

       “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

       “It’s nothing.”

       “We talked about this.”

       “We’ve talked about a number of things. Please be more specific.”

       Edith was making ‘the face.’ He could tell, even if he wasn’t looking at her. It radiated from her side of the car like the biting cold off of an ice cube. Giving a nervous chuckle, he made a right and took them over the bridge.

       “You now, if anyone else were in this car, they’d think we were practically married.”

       “What, because I nag you to not bottle everything up and actually talk once in awhile?”

       “I didn’t say nag!”

       “You were thinking it.”

       “But I didn’t say it!”

       “Well who cares, and you know, maybe we are, but- BEN, THE ROAD!”

       With squeaking wheels, Benjamin brought the car back to the center of the lane, teeth grit and knuckles white atop the steering wheel. Edith had one hand pressed hard against the glass of the passenger window and one against his chest as though she could have held him there in his seat had the car hit something. He could feel her fingernails biting into his skin, could feel his heart beating beneath her palm, and he found he needed to swallow against the dryness that had suddenly overtaken his throat.

       “Sorry, sorry.”

       “What has gotten into you!”

       “I- um- C- Can we just maybe not? Just this once?”

       “No, no we can’t ‘just this once’! What the heck is going on?”

       “Then can we wait to talk about this when we get to your place? Please? I can’t-,” he took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his teeth, “Just let me work out how to explain it, okay?”

       Ben felt her hand lift from his chest as she relaxed back into her seat and allowed silence to slowly flood the car, slick and tepid. It filled the space between them, sunk into his skin as his brain tried to burn itself out over feelings and phrasings in the quiet. Running through conversation after conversation, he conjured up options that were all shot down one after the next by the imagined results they would incur. No matter how hard he tried to think, it always seemed to go the same way.

       By the time they made it to her apartment, his hands were slick with a sweat that had nothing to do with the heat outside.

       “You know, maybe I should just go directly home. I’ve got a lot of work I still need to-”

       “Benjamin,” he heard her hand hit the dashboard and couldn’t help but jump, “You’re going to walk yourself up to my apartment, you’re going to find yourself a seat, and you’re going to tell me what’s wrong. End of discussion. Now, get out of the car.”

       “Right, right.”

       The emergency stairway was thick with humidity, unmoving and unyielding. Coupled with the fog in his head, it felt as though he were trying to swim through jello up those three flights of stairs. Every step made Ben want to turn back, get into the car, drive home, but with Edith right behind him drilling holes into the back of his head with her eyes, there was little choice in the matter.

       Overall that was probably a good thing, but it didn’t make it easier.

       Her apartment was cool, the blinds drawn against the late sun leaving the rooms to feel like quiet caves. He could only bring himself to open the one in the kitchen, fighting with the shade so that it was even at the top while behind him he heard Edith getting something out of the refrigerator. When he turned, he was met with a glass of ice water and a commandeering finger pointing towards the couch.

       With a sigh, he took the glass and sat. She, on the other hand, stayed standing, leaning against the frame of the window.

       “Talk to me,” it was said softly, but the demand was clear.

       “It’s really just stupid.”

       “Knowing you, maybe, but that doesn’t matter. Tell me.”

       Ben couldn’t help but smile, even if he didn’t feel very much like doing so. Looking away from her and into the bubbles frozen within the ice of his drink, he muttered, “Am I old?”

       “What?”

       He took a sip, preparing the words in his head a second time, “Am I old?”

       “…If you’re old, what does that make me?”

       “You- what? No, no-” laughing, he looked back at her, gesturing to her face, to the way the light coming through the window seemed to drape across her like it loved her, “You’re- I- look, no.”

       Edith smirked, eyes glinting as she took a drink her own water before becoming serious once more, “You’re only 43.”

       “That doesn’t feel like an ‘only’ to me.”

       “Oh come on,” she rolled her eyes, “that’s maybe-maybe- half of the average human lifespan, and how many times do you hear that ‘old age is only a thing in your head’?”

       “Says the woman who takes arthritis medication.”

       “Says the man who wears a hairpiece.”

       “Wow, thanks. Thanks. Way to help me out here.”

       Edith laughed, and Ben could feel himself start to relax until the last giggle rolled out of her and she said, “No but, why do you bring this up? What’s going on?”

       “I don’t know. It just, um… It’s just been on my mind a while now.”

       “How long?”

       “…Month? Two months?”

       She moved to sit next to him then, placing her drink on the floor as she looked at him with concern etched into every line of her face, “Did this whole thing start with that Kilpatrick kid?”

       “Kinda.”

       “Did he say something?”

       “No. God no,” he chuckled, “Or if he has, I haven’t heard it. Kid’s a coward. No, nobody said anything. I just um…I can’t work my brain around the fact that nobody’s actually come to those meetings.”

       “What does that have to do with you being old?”

       Ben rubbed his neck, looking deep into the berber rug, “I- this is stupid- I find myself thinking about what I would do if I got a call like that, telling me my kid was beating up a classmate or cheating on a test or some other thing. I always do something, always. Not the best thing…often not the best thing but- I mean- I-” he sighed, running a hand over his mouth, “I don’t know.”

       “Is it that you can’t figure out why the Kilpatrick’s aren’t coming?”

       “No, they’re lazy, I know that. They’re hicktown garbage and those people are always going to be around. I just-…I just think maybe I could be…a better parent. Than that, I mean. I, uh-”

       He stammered into silence, biting his lip so that he couldn’t say something else that was stupid. The glass in his hand had started to grow condensation, and he could feel it pooling in the space between his fingers, feel it sliding down his wrist to soak into his pant leg at the knee. He paid attention to these small things so as to distract himself by the laser-focused stare of Edith who was equal parts way too close and not close enough for comfort.

       “Do you often think about that?”

       “…More often than I use to.”

       “…Do you think you’d, um, you’d want to?”

       “Want to what?”

       “Be a parent.”

       The startle that caused Ben to jump made him spill his drink down his leg and across the carpet. Coughing between nervous giggles, he stood and moved to the kitchen to get a tea towel as he said, “Well, I mean-I-What about you? Do you ever think about it?”

       “More often than I use to.”

       He nearly swallowed his own tongue as stood at the stovetop, playing with the tattered edge of the towel that had been hung neatly on the oven handle. “Oh?” he asked, voice high and brittle around the edges.

       Nothing but hum came back from the couch. Taking a deep breath, he walked back over, kneeling on the carpet as he tried to sop up as much water as possible.   From the corner of his eye he saw her feet move as she stood, vanishing as she moved behind him only to feel her kneel down next to him a moment later, her had reaching out with a fistful of paper towels as she blotted at the carpet with him.

       They worked in silence, and when everything was a dry as it was going to be, she took the tea towel from him and moved back to the kitchen, calling over her shoulder, “I still don’t understand what this has to do with you being old or not though, or why you freaked out in the car.”

       “Well…” he stood, moving into the kitchen with her, “Well I mean-it’s stupid anyway. It’ll never happen. I’m too old for that shit.” Ben huffed, looking at the ceiling, trying to smile as he continued, “And you’d have to- you’d have to be a real piece of work to do that, a real selfish asshole.”

       “What, a selfish asshole to want to be a parent?” She said this not looking at him, speaking instead to the towel now properly back in its place, her hands hovering just above it like two great moths unable to land.

       “To want to be a parent when you know you shouldn’t be, yeah.”

       Edith looked up at that, brow furrowed. He could practically see the gears turning in her head, “I don’t understand. You just said yourself you’d be a better parent than the Kilpatrick’s.”

       “I said I think I would be- I think. I don’t know.”

       “Well, it’s kinda hard to know something like that, don’t you think? And I don’t think you can link your capabilities as a caregiver to your age.”

       “But I can’t- I mean, not now, not- What kind of person goes into something like that knowing all it takes is a snap of someone’s fingers and suddenly they’re not themselves anymore.”

       “Ben-.”

       “I mean, just think for a second. You know the Captain. He’d be such a-a shitty dad, you realize that? He’d be the kind of dad that thinks sugar before bed is a good idea and would probably send a four year old to daycare in nothing but underwear. He doesn’t think. He never thinks. ”

       “Ben, it’s all hypothetical. You’re not actually a dad. Breathe.”

       “Ah,” he tried to force a grin, but it came across as a grimace as he drug his hands down his face, screwing his eyes shut, “Ah-ha. Fuck. You’re right. You’re right, you’re right, you’re right. This is all- it’s stupid. Christ, these conversations are- are supposed to be cute or sexy or whatever, and here I am do whatever the fuck this is.”

       Edith laughed, and though he didn’t dare to open his eyes yet, he could feel himself start to actually smile until she poked him in the chest, retorting, “You couldn’t do either if you tried.”

       “Excuse me!”

       “Shut up. Do I need to remind you of the last time you tried to be ‘cute and sexy’?”

       “Edith-”

       “’Snow Queen’, Ben? ‘Snow Queen’? Ring a bell?”

       “Listen-!”

       “Oh I’ve been listening, and I still haven’t heard a good reason yet as to where you got the idea that that was as nice thing to call me. Talk about not thinking!”

       He opened his eyes then, bursting at the seams laughing as he cornered her against the counter, tickled the curve below her ribs and kissed her neck as she squealed out in surprise.

       “I try to do something different and this is where it lands me!”

       “That wasn’t trying anything, that was being stupid!”

       “Augh, it’s all the same to you!”

       He could feel her giggling before he heard it, feel the muscles jump, feel her chest compress, feel her mouth twitch around every hard ‘ha’. Tucking his face into the crook of her shoulder, he enjoyed the moment, long after the laughter stopped.

       “…Sorry,” he mumbled, the collar of her dress rough against his face.

       “It’s an overwhelming thought, isn’t it,” Her hands began moving across his back, nails drifting up and down his spine, left and right across his shoulders. He had just started to relax when Edith said, mouth still close to his ear, “Still, how cool would it be to say your dad flies you to school?”

       “Her dad would still unfortunately be a gigantic c-”

       “DO not use that word, and you’re not. But her now? You didn’t tell me you had a little girl in mind.”

       “Ack,” he made a face, pulling away, “Don’t, come on.”

       “Oh my god, you gave her a name, didn’t you.”

       “This is awful. Why did I even think it was a good idea to tell you? I could have lied, you know. You wouldn’t have guessed.”

       “I would have totally guessed. You’re like a book, you’re so easy to read.”

       “Am I that black and white?”

       “Disgusting. You’re disgusting is what you are. Give me a better pun.”

       “Insufferable to disgusting, I run the gambit. But- hm,” he frowned in mock concentration, “You’ve got me read from cover to cover? I’m all open in your hands? These sound like garbage.”

       “Better than the black and white one. That was paper thin. I didn’t expect you to be so two dimensional.”

       “God damn it.”

       She grinned, all teeth and victory, “Now though, really, tell me her name.”

       Chuckling, he looked away, “Most names are kinda ruined for me.”

       “Why?”

       “Students.”

       “Fair, but you’re avoiding answering the question.”

       “Ack.”

       “I told you you can’t get anything past me.”

       Ben paused, rolling the name around his mouth as he took a deep breath, “Odette.”

       Edith smiled, “Odette,” she said the name as though tasting it, and he couldn’t help but feel that peculiar prickling down his spine, “Isn’t that from Swan Lake?”

       He shrugged.

       “You don’t like theater much.”

       “No, but swans are nice. Pretty, you know? And they’re also vicious shits,” he couldn’t help but smile as he said it, as Edith laughed, “She’d be tenacious as fuck, I can picture it. She’d be the kid to throw down if someone did something she didn’t like.”

       “Teeny little fists just flying with all her plastic jewelry clanking?”

       “Yes!” there was no way to stem the excitement now, now that her name had been said, “Jeeze, she’d have those- you know those little plastic round beads you can get by the pound? She’d string ‘em all in this long chain she’d wrap around her neck, trying to twirl them like you see in the movies. She’d be the kind of kid who’d let bugs loose in the house because she doesn’t know any better. And have you seen those little sandals? What are they called, jellies? I have to pass them every time I pick up shoe polish and they’re the cutest damn things. They’re so tiny!

       “Ben- Ben you’re doing that- Ben come back down!”

       They were both laughing by this point, arms still wrapped around one another with their foreheads pressed together, but slowly, his legs were rising without him.

       “Shit- shit-”

       “Christ almighty-”

       “Edith I can’t-”

       “If you get footprints on my ceiling again so help me-DON’T take me with you!”

       “Let me go for a second then!”

       Feigning indignant, Edith huffed and released her hold on Ben to let him slowly float upwards. Staring at one another, three feet apart and almost directly on top of one another, it was impossible not to break down into a rolling fit of laughter.

       “You’re ridiculous,” she giggled, wiping tears from her eyes as she looked up at him, “Absolutely ridiculous.”

       “So many adjectives today.”

       “Ugh, stop. You’re not even funny.”

       “‘Scuse you bub, I’m hilarious.”

       “Oh my god, stop. Look at you, mr. ‘I’ve-only-thought-a-bit-about-it’. Filthy liar. You’ve got her whole life planned out and she doesn’t even exist yet.”

       “Don’t call me out like this when I can’t defend myself.”

       “Can’t defend yourself? Can’t defend yourself? What is there to defend? You’re a giant softy who’s concocted this perfect little girl in your head who so happens to share her father’s delight in apparently getting into fights.”

       “Hey, I don’t do it that often.”

       “You’ve done it more than once and that’s more than enough.”

       “I can’t remember what Captain does! You can’t hold that against me!”

       “I’m not talking about Captain, I’m talking about you. In particular, I’m remembering about that one time when we were in traffic heading out to Albany.”

       “I’m not going to apologize for that.”

       “Your sister’s second wedding?”

       “I wasn’t the one who called the groom an ape in a suit.”

       “Last time we went out for faculty drinks?”

       “Oh come on, you can hardly blame me.”

       Edith dropped her face into her hands, her words garbled by palms and giggles, “Oh my god, Ben.”

       “You know, she’d probably be a biter.”

       “Oh my GOD, Ben, WHY?”

       “She’d have started talking early so her jaw would be really strong and she’d just- she’d just latch on and not let go!”

       “And regardless of all that, you’d call her princess, wouldn’t you.”

       He grinned, “You couldn’t pay me not to. With big blue eyes and more strength than she knows what to do with? She’d be just like-”

       He stopped himself before he could finish, snapped his teeth shut around the rest and swallowed it. Shutting his eyes he willed himself to breathe, but he didn’t have much of a chance to try before he felt Edith’s hands come to rest on either side of his face. Biting his tongue, he forced himself to look at her. Her face was bright, too bright.

       “That’s the real reason you freaked out in the car, isn’t it,” she whispered, eyes wide and shining, “when I agreed that anyone would think we’re practically married.”

       Jaw clenched, Ben nodded.

       The expression on her face was indescribable. It would have been perfectly reasonable to imagine the light sliding across it was made by her, a byproduct of such overwhelming joy.

       He dreaded what was coming.

       Almost like a warning shot, his back began to come away from the ceiling.

       “Edith, I-”

       “Secret’s out, Ben,” she laughed quietly, “Might as just well ask me now.”

       “I-”

       He dropped like a stone. Above him he heard Edith give a shout, and he could only assume she was about to help him up, but he stood before she could and backed away to an arm’s length of distance, a respectable amount of space.

       “I can’t.”

       “…What do you mean you can’t?”

       Hands buried themselves as deeply into his pockets as he could make them go, shoulders hunching, “I just- I can’t.”

       “No…no- nonono,” Edith shook her head, face hard, “You’re not just going to shut down on me, you’re going to tell me why you all the sudden-”

       “Edith, I can’t.”

       “Don’t give me that! Don’t- We were just talking about kids and being parents and you just told me- you just told me-!”

       “I know-”

       “Then what’s wrong! What could possibly be wrong! What is going on, Ben!”

       “It’s not a matter of me! It’s a matter of you!”

       He regretted the words as soon as they were out, the look he received making him curl in on himself.

      “What about me?”

       “That- that’s not- you’re taking this the wrong way.”

       “Oh, how am I supposed to take it?”

       “I-”

       “I swear to god Ben if this is one of your ‘can’t-let-people-get-too-close-to-me’ fits I’m going to lose my mind.”

       “Please-”

       “Don’t you dare,” she was shaking, shoulders twitching with her hands balled at her side, “don’t you dare ask me to let this go, because I won’t, Benjamin. You’re going to explain yourself right now, or so help me-”

       “Damn it Edith, you’re almost ten years my junior!” he bellowed, screwing his eyes shut, unable to continue to watch her face crumble, “You could- you should- be dating someone who can give you what you need! Stability, a good life, you know? Someone who makes more than a teacher’s salary and has a full head of hair and doesn’t turn into someone else every time a stranger snaps their fingers! Fuck, you could have married them already!” Clenched fists moved to cover his eyes. He tried to breath, but the air just didn’t seem to make it to his lungs, “I love you, terribly. I don’t say it enough, but I do, and it’s because I do that I- shit- I worry you’re wasting your time. You shouldn’t be- shackled to- god- this fucking mess. How many times have I come home an absolute wreck but I can’t tell you what happened? I know it puts a toll on you and that bit- that’s just because of Captain!”

       He couldn’t help but laugh. There were no tears, he had cried over this too many times for there to be tears, but he couldn’t keep his knees from buckling, “I can be-I am- such an ass. I’m not very soft, or gentle, or- or any of the stuff you deserve someone to be. I try, but I’m not, and I’m worried I’ve ruined- your three years away from being 35 and I’ve read so much about all the- the hell that can happen. I know you want kids, but I am so fucking afraid. I’m afraid of a lot of things, but most of all, I am afraid that I am keeping you from getting what you want in life, but I’m too much of a- a selfish coward to leave because I still don’t want to give this up!”

       Ben didn’t want to look at her, not yet. He didn’t want to see her face, didn’t want to know what she was thinking. Of all the moments he could have left, this was the perfect one, but still he found he couldn’t bring himself to move.

       Still, he found he couldn’t bring himself to go.

       The room was full of a silence thick with tension, hanging in the air like a silent gawker.

       “…How dare you.”

       In shock, his eyes snapped open, and there she was, more livid than he had ever seen her. Teeth bared and fists still clenched at her sides, the words came out almost as a snarl again.

       “How dare you!”

       “E-Edith-” 

       “How dare you think I've wasted my time, hanging around as though I thought you were my only option.” She sliced through the air between them in two purposeful strides, one pointed finger hitting him square in the chest, “I'm not tied to your will. I stay because I want to. I have a choice in this."

       “I-”

       “No. Shut up. You had your little moment, now listen. These five years have been some of the best years of my life. If I didn’t want this, if I didn’t want you, we would not be having this conversation. I don’t care that I’m younger than you, I don’t care that we’ll never really be well off, and I don’t even care that you’re Captain Underpants. I don’t care,” she stabbed her finger at his sternum with every syllable, “And on the subject of age, what’s it matter if I’m close to 35? That’s just a number suggested by the department of health and I’ll have you know I’m perfectly healthy, so don’t ever bring that into an argument again. Even if a child of mine was born with a difficulty, that wouldn’t change the fact that I’d love them.

       She crossed her arms, face still storming, “Oh, don’t think you’re the only one who’s thought up names and faces in your head, Ben, because you’re not. You told me yours, want to know mine? He’s a little boy, who wears overalls with little bears on them and likes to think he can cut barbie doll hair well even if he can’t. He’s constantly getting into things he shouldn’t and I’m always chasing after him. He likes big rain puddles but is terrified of the ocean and he can’t get his mouth around hard consonants so he does things like call pancakes ‘tantakes’.” His name-” she took a deep breath, words beginning to crack, “His name is Benny, Ben, and he’s yours. Don’t you dare- don’t you dare make assumptions about me and what I want, do you understand? Because I want this and I want you.”

       Edith was breathing hard, lightning in her eyes as well as tears. The shaking in her shoulders was so fierce, Ben wrapped his arms around her in fear that she may break just as she said, “So dammit Benjamin, will you marry me?”

       By this point, he was crying with her, the fight having been worn out of both of them, reduced to rubble and weak giggles in the face of honest openness and fear. It was as though a great weight had slid off their backs, landing on the ground as they gently began to rise, as Ben gently kissed her and into her smiling mouth whispered, “Yes.” 


End file.
